THOUGHTS FROM PASTOR LIZ DAVIS
August 2022
Grace and peace to you, siblings in Christ!
My spouse and I will celebrate our wedding anniversary at the end of this month. In that ceremony, we joined two very different families together as we created our own family. I’m sure these two groups of people would never have reason to come together if it weren’t for us. We came together in a big way on our wedding day, and smaller groups of us have gathered at other times as well.
Weddings are fraught with expectations around the way things are “supposed to happen.” It’s one of those times when people assume that the way they envision gathering is a universal expectation. Those expectations caused a lot of stress! I remember my mother adding in hors d’oeuvres at the last minute because she thought we had to have them and some of our guests left after dinner because we hadn’t explicitly stated on the invitations that there would be dancing. Our assumed expectations made the preparing to gather and the gathering itself stressful and not as smooth as it might have been.
Celebrating holidays with my in-laws those first few years were a bit of a cultural experience. Both of our families celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas, but the way in which we gather, the expectations around who brings what, how we prepare to eat, what order people are served, where people sit, and how we interact while eating are all different. Knowing there were so many unspoken expectations made me really nervous.
One of the learnings through loss during the pandemic has been the importance of community and connection. We also may have learned how insular our social group is and discovered that we need relationships with people whose life experiences are different from our own. We’ve reached the point in our society when we can’t imagine why someone would think or act or vote differently from us: our lack of imagination is a symptom of our lack of relationship. As we work to gather with others, we may need to gain some new skills as hosts and curators of gatherings.
This month, you’re encouraged to read, listen, or watch Priya Parker explore the topic of gathering. She speaks about how we gather, and offers insights to help us become more gracious hosts. There are things we can do to welcome people in, orient them to our gathering, and put people at ease. We can be strategic in our methods in order to build more meaningful connections. You’re invited to read her book The Art of Gathering, listen to an “On Being” podcast episode on which she was a
guest, and even search out and watch a video of her speaking.
We are in a period in which more people are less familiar with church. One of the benefits of online worship is that people can safely check out our worship without the stress of entering something unknown. When newcomers do come to be physically present, it’s important to be aware of how we are orienting people to the gathering. Why are we here? How will we interact? On what basis are we welcomed? Parker’s insights can help us know how to be better hosts to a new generation of people seeking community and Christ.
Ultimately, it is Jesus who brings us together. Jesus gathers distinct and unique groups of people to form one community in him. Even though Jesus has already created community in diversity, the church has struggled from its very beginning to live as the community Jesus created. The disciples weren’t sure about Jesus welcoming people who lived on the margins of society. The early church struggled to welcome those who weren’t Jewish. Even today, we think that we’re the hosts, making decisions about who is welcome and how people have to be in order to belong. The truth is, Jesus is our host. Jesus has set the welcoming table. Jesus has made sure every person has a seat, accepted just as they are today. Our job is simply to make sure everyone knows they are welcome, honored, and needed, and help them know how to join in as we share God’s welcome with the world.
God is with you!
Pastor Liz
